Nimrat Kaur Laments Lack of Closure After Father's Assassination

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World Desk

In Short: Actor Nimrat Kaur says she found no closure after her father, Major Bhupender Singh, was assassinated in 1994.

Actor Nimrat Kaur, 44, recently spoke about her father, Major Bhupender Singh, an Indian Army officer who was kidnapped and assassinated in 1994 in Kashmir. Kaur told the ANI podcast, 'He was actually kidnapped from a normal day at work... and on his way back, he was kidnapped by people who posed as soldiers. They demanded the release of other prisoners and other demands over seven days. And on the seventh day, we got the news that he had been assassinated. I saw my father leave for work that morning, and I just remember him leaving... and then after that... the next time I saw him was in a coffin. So, there is no closure.'

Psychotherapist Delnna Rajesh explained that the human mind struggles with unfinished stories, particularly after traumatic bereavement. 'When something ends abruptly, there can be a painful gap between what the mind expected to happen and what actually happened. The mind keeps returning to the event partly because it is trying to understand something that no longer fits the world it knew before,' Rajesh said.

Rajesh further noted that some losses do not provide the neat endings people often expect. 'A person can build a beautiful life and still miss somebody. They can laugh wholeheartedly and still experience grief. They can feel enormous gratitude for what their life became while simultaneously wishing one person had been there to see it. Two seemingly contradictory emotions can coexist,' she explained.

Rajesh emphasized that closure is often misunderstood in the context of grief. 'We imagine that there must eventually be an explanation, a final conversation, an apology, an answer or an emotional full stop after which a person can finally move forward. But life does not always provide endings that neat,' she said.

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Perhaps this is where we need to reconsider, as one of the most common ideas surrounding grief is that in order to heal, we must somehow “find closure”, stressed Delnna Rrajesh, a psychotherapist and a relationship breakthrough coach.

Sources

The Indian Expresslink